40th Year!

This year has brought so much reflection, change, hard work and emotion, 

I stopped drinking almost a year and a half ago, which has brought a new level of clarity to my life. It also has me learning how to express my emotions, this has been something I never thought would encompass me the way it has.

As I look back at the past year I know that all that has happened I was meant to not have alcohol in my life.

Some of the things that I have realized since I stopped drinking:
You can still toast a friend in celebration and in memory and not feel guilty.
I have spent a lot of time with my kids having meaningful conversations.
My head is clear and I can focus on what is ahead of me.
Life is so vibrant and full of color!
God created us to handle the hard conversations and things that come in life.
I was given one body and I will do my best to take care of it and honor God in doing it.

This year I felt even more emotion in losing two close friends, and was more than I thought I would ever feel.

I don’t understand why God takes people when he does. I don’t understand why he leaves a wife without her husband, kids without their Dad, or Mothers and Fathers without their sons. Why God would take a Mom before her kids are ready to say goodbye or ask her all the questions they need to ask.

I do not live close to family of these friends, they are at least an hour away. I know that I think about them often and while I miss these people that left us too soon. I cannot imagine the thoughts and pain that they feel. How their hearts break, or how many times they break down in grief. I know that they experience a fear that takes their breath away, a fear that I don’t know…

I know that these people that God called home had strong faith a faith that they didn’t question, and this is what gives me comfort every day. 

Despite the hurt, I am still thankful for all God has done this past year He has grown me and challenged me in ways that didn’t even seem possible! I am ready to start a new year and see where God leads next!!

We don’t know what tomorrow holds only God knows our future.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11